Showing posts with label this shit is shit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label this shit is shit. Show all posts
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Five Finger Death Punch - Under and Over It
Oh. My. God. Someone please stop the ear rape immediately.
I get it. You're angry. I don't know why though, your first record was a huge hit. You live in beautiful sunny Los Angeles and immediately this active rock pre-formed cookie cutter bullshit you crapped out into my ears made you money. You caught the attention of the bands you needed to in your "circle," and even though you guys have some of the most ridiculous promo photos I've ever seen, I bet you get laid all the time. So why all the posing that you're angry? Because I bet you're not.
What I think is this: This is another band doing what they *think* they are supposed to do. "Oh countless bands before me had to complain about people thinking they sold out? I should do a song about that shit! So people know I'm real, dawg."
Look Dawg, I feel you, but did cover a Bad Company song... in a really un-ironic way. Look bro, I'm just sayin... But don't worry, by telling us how much of a fuck you do not give, I'm sure you'll win all those jaded fans of this sort of muck back. You're probably gonna be okay FFDP, so you might as well chill and smoke a 100 dollar cigar.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Limp Bizkit - Gold Cobra
Alright, I'll admit it, when Limp Bizkit came out I didn't violently hate them. In the early 2000's everything sounded like this. We also had not begun to hear what a bag of douche Fred Durst is.
Straight to the point, I've met this short a-hole several times. He used to go into Ahhs! where my friend Jennifer worked on the regular and hit on all the girls while he had his kid with him. I distinctly remember him hitting on a female friend of mine that was in a band in front of her boyfriend at a show at the Whiskey. Basically all in all is this persona he plays in the band and in the videos is legit. This is 24/7.
Needless to say when I heard Limp Bizkit was putting out another record I pretty much threw up in my mouth. This style of music is played out. Even the homeboys in Korn have moved on and are trying new things (dubstep? really? whatever, we'll get to there some day) But here is Fred Durst as big as day, frontin' like a motherfucker to show us how much of a fuck he does not give.
I wanted to embed this video because you should watch it for the LOLz but Fred or his record company or whatever doesn't want it embedded. So here it is.
Let's just ignore the fact that this song is a steaming pile of donkey crap. Let's instead focus on how HORRIBLE the video is. You see because Fred Durst is committing another sin of epic proportions in it.
He's wearing a Celtics jersey and a Yankees hat.
Process that sports fans while I explain to the group why that is wrong:
You see, Boston Vs New York well... its a pretty big deal. The Red Sox fans and Yankees fans... they historically do not get along. And having been to Boston myself and whatever, I can pretty much tell you that even Celtics fans who aren't Red Sox fans sure as hell aren't Yankees fans. Now this may look "cool" to Fred to wear these things and maybe in suburban middle America you can get away with it if you are a special needs person but seriously...
I'm too offended by the combination to even start ranting about the only remotely interesting part of the video being a jiggly model, well jiggling. You go girl, you look hot. Sorry you have to hang out with Fred Durst. Nice bikini by the way, is it Roxy or Famous Stars and Straps?
At any rate this song gets an F, as in F everything about this piece of crap.
Straight to the point, I've met this short a-hole several times. He used to go into Ahhs! where my friend Jennifer worked on the regular and hit on all the girls while he had his kid with him. I distinctly remember him hitting on a female friend of mine that was in a band in front of her boyfriend at a show at the Whiskey. Basically all in all is this persona he plays in the band and in the videos is legit. This is 24/7.
Needless to say when I heard Limp Bizkit was putting out another record I pretty much threw up in my mouth. This style of music is played out. Even the homeboys in Korn have moved on and are trying new things (dubstep? really? whatever, we'll get to there some day) But here is Fred Durst as big as day, frontin' like a motherfucker to show us how much of a fuck he does not give.
I wanted to embed this video because you should watch it for the LOLz but Fred or his record company or whatever doesn't want it embedded. So here it is.
Let's just ignore the fact that this song is a steaming pile of donkey crap. Let's instead focus on how HORRIBLE the video is. You see because Fred Durst is committing another sin of epic proportions in it.
He's wearing a Celtics jersey and a Yankees hat.
Process that sports fans while I explain to the group why that is wrong:
You see, Boston Vs New York well... its a pretty big deal. The Red Sox fans and Yankees fans... they historically do not get along. And having been to Boston myself and whatever, I can pretty much tell you that even Celtics fans who aren't Red Sox fans sure as hell aren't Yankees fans. Now this may look "cool" to Fred to wear these things and maybe in suburban middle America you can get away with it if you are a special needs person but seriously...
I'm too offended by the combination to even start ranting about the only remotely interesting part of the video being a jiggly model, well jiggling. You go girl, you look hot. Sorry you have to hang out with Fred Durst. Nice bikini by the way, is it Roxy or Famous Stars and Straps?
At any rate this song gets an F, as in F everything about this piece of crap.
Monday, January 31, 2011
this is disappointing
Okay Scott Russo and I may be getting a divorce.
A little background here. I am in love with Unwritten Law. They're one of my favorite bands in the world and I've seen them between 15-16 times and have met them enough that usually Scott Russo recognizes me. He's my future ex-husband. I rely on their music to get me going when nothing else will and so you have to understand when I saw that there was NEW UL in the world this morning when I got to work, I almost fell over and died of happy. It was like SURPRISE BITCH IT'S CHRISTMAS!
Then I downloaded it.
You can probably tell that since I am writing about "Starships and Apocalypse" here it didn't really live up to my expectations. In fact it may have actually ruined my day. Not only is it basically every song they've ever done before sonically... there is this part in the song that is completely and totally a Ke$ha rip off or spoof.
(Actual Ke$ha lyrics:
"I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk
Boys tryin' to touch my junk, junk
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk")
Either way, I don't get it. I'm sad. Please oh please tell me this is not what the rest of the album sounds like.
"Starships and Apocalypse"
I see the look in her eyes
She was a fast talking woman with a master disguise
And she wore fake Gucci shades blowing rings with her smoke
And if you didnt know better, she'd let you know
Singing something about, everybody get drunk drunk
Yeah baby lets fuck fuck
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so sing along yo
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so... she was sinnging bout
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
She gets me out of my head
And shes the only kind of woman that makes me understand
When Im talking about, everybody get drunk drunk
Yeah baby lets fuck fuck
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so sing along yo
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so... she was sinnging bout
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
Oh no, she was singing about
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just got tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
Shes singing about
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow yeah she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
She was a fast talking woman with a master disguise
And she wore fake Gucci shades blowing rings with her smoke
And if you didnt know better, she'd let you know
Singing something about, everybody get drunk drunk
Yeah baby lets fuck fuck
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so sing along yo
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so... she was sinnging bout
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
She gets me out of my head
And shes the only kind of woman that makes me understand
When Im talking about, everybody get drunk drunk
Yeah baby lets fuck fuck
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so sing along yo
Grab control to a major time and here comes the story so... she was sinnging bout
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
Oh no, she was singing about
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow cause she just got tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
Shes singing about
Starships and apocalypse, drifting to the great abyss
And hide, from tomorrow yeah she just had tonight
She was singing about
Oh no, please don't go
Last call so lose control
Take my hand, off we go to
La la land
Saturday, December 18, 2010
garbage
I distinctly remember the first time I heard this band, I hated them. Shinedown was just another Nickelcrap clone. I used to get them and Seether mixed up. Actually I might still... they're both pretty awful. This is one of those bands I try to discount in meetings by my t-shirt theory... I.E. when was the last time you saw someone in a Shinedown shirt? Like I'll put up with Metallica and Megadeth because people are passionate about these bands. I don't think I've ever asked someone "So hey, what's your favorite band?" and had them answer "OMG I LOVE SHINEDOWN." Does anyone even know what these dudes look like?
Anyway I thought I had heard the worst these dudes could shit onto a platter until I heard this:
This is so not a rock song. This is like some Matchbox Twenty garbage. And it might not even sound like garbage if it was done by a Matchbox twenty, Sarah McLachlan, some Hot AC something or other because this is a pop ballad, not a rock song. Yet last summer this thing ear raped rock radio all summer long and I never once heard one person say they liked it. I mean there isn't anything to LIKE about it.
Anyway I thought I had heard the worst these dudes could shit onto a platter until I heard this:
This is so not a rock song. This is like some Matchbox Twenty garbage. And it might not even sound like garbage if it was done by a Matchbox twenty, Sarah McLachlan, some Hot AC something or other because this is a pop ballad, not a rock song. Yet last summer this thing ear raped rock radio all summer long and I never once heard one person say they liked it. I mean there isn't anything to LIKE about it.
I realize that scholocky mediocrity is what most of 'Merica (eff yah!) likes but come on. This is just dog vomit.
"The Crow and the Butterfly"
I painted your room at midnight
So I'd know yesterday was over
I put all your books on the top shelf
Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older
I took all your pictures off the wall
And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket
I haven't slept in what seems like a century
And now I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Your words still serenade me
Your lullabies won't let me sleep
I've never heard such a haunting melody
Oh, it's killing me
You know I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
Like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Just a little too late
So I'd know yesterday was over
I put all your books on the top shelf
Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older
I took all your pictures off the wall
And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket
I haven't slept in what seems like a century
And now I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Your words still serenade me
Your lullabies won't let me sleep
I've never heard such a haunting melody
Oh, it's killing me
You know I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
Like a crow chasing the butterfly
Dandelions lost in the summer skies
When you and I were getting high as outer space
I never thought you'd slip away
I guess I was just a little too late
Just a little too late
Friday, December 17, 2010
i don't get it
I love rock music. I do. But this?
WHAT THE HELL? I DON'T GET IT WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS??!?
It's schlocky and like... just bad. Mediocre. I get it everyone loves boobs. Hell I like boobs, but songs about boobs don't actually equate real boobs. Like listening to this song at your mom's house in the basement while you play Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix is not going to make bountiful boobs appear in your life. All this song is going to do is give me a damn headache. And maybe cause nausea.
WHAT THE HELL? I DON'T GET IT WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS??!?
It's schlocky and like... just bad. Mediocre. I get it everyone loves boobs. Hell I like boobs, but songs about boobs don't actually equate real boobs. Like listening to this song at your mom's house in the basement while you play Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix is not going to make bountiful boobs appear in your life. All this song is going to do is give me a damn headache. And maybe cause nausea.
file this under useless
Nicki Minaj is useless.
Look I've done my tours of duty in top 40. And I LOVED IT. Some of my best times were working for the top 40 in SLO but you have got to be kidding me with this heap of crap. And Will.I.Am, we're all aware you like money now.
All these hating naggers ain’t got nothing on me.
Honestly I gotta stay as fly as I can be
If you lick and roll it you get super OG
Mine is always ? cause I'm fly, fly, fly
Dummies they can’t touch me cause I'm floating sky high
I stay nigga-rific you don’t need to ask why
You can try and see with your eyes
[Bridge]
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
This club is heating, this party’s blazing.
I can’t believe it, this beat is banging.
I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
(Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow)
Check It Out (x3)
[Nicki Minaj]
Stepped up in the party like my name was “that b***h”.
All these haters mad because I’m so established.
They know I’m a beast, yeah I’m a f**king savage
Haters you can kill yourself.
In my space shuttle and I’m not coming down
I’m a stereo and she’s just so monotone
Sometimes it’s just me and all my bottles all alone
I ain’t coming back this time.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
(Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow)
Check It Out (x3)
Check this mother-f**ker OUT!
It got me in the club, in the club, just rocking like this…
The DunDun
The sun done
Yep, the sun done
Came up, but we still up in dungeon
The DunDun
Yep, in London
Competition, why yes I would love some
How the f**k they get mad cause they run done.
Mad cause I’m getting money in abundance
Man I can’t even count all of these hundreds
Duffle bag every time I go to SunTrust
I leave the rest just to collect interest
I mean interest
F**k my nemesis
Exclamation… just for emphasis
And I don’t sympathize, cause you a simple b***h
I just pop up on these hoes on some pimple sh*t
And put the iron to your face you old wrinkled b***h
We just had to kill it
We on the radio hotter than a skillet
We in the club making party people holla
Money in the bank we be getting top dollar
I’m a big baller,
You a little smaller
Step up to my level, you need to grow a little taller
I’m shot caller
Get up off my collar
You a Chihuahua
I’m a Rottweiler
[Bridge]
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
I can’t believe it, this beat is banging.
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
Check It Out (x3)
Look I've done my tours of duty in top 40. And I LOVED IT. Some of my best times were working for the top 40 in SLO but you have got to be kidding me with this heap of crap. And Will.I.Am, we're all aware you like money now.
I can't even find rude enough words to talk about how much I want to pull my ears off and jab my eyes with a stick whenever I hear this heap of crap (which I am listening to now just for you guys.)
I hope the Buggles are making big cash for this.
I know I know, she's a FEMALE RAPPER and she's all POWERFUL and I should support but no, this is just crap. Sorry Nicki...
THESE WORDS HURT MY FEELINGS
"Check it Out"
[Will.i.am]
Step up in the party like my name was Mr. TAll these hating naggers ain’t got nothing on me.
Honestly I gotta stay as fly as I can be
If you lick and roll it you get super OG
Mine is always ? cause I'm fly, fly, fly
Dummies they can’t touch me cause I'm floating sky high
I stay nigga-rific you don’t need to ask why
You can try and see with your eyes
[Bridge]
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
This club is heating, this party’s blazing.
I can’t believe it, this beat is banging.
I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
(Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow)
Check It Out (x3)
[Nicki Minaj]
Stepped up in the party like my name was “that b***h”.
All these haters mad because I’m so established.
They know I’m a beast, yeah I’m a f**king savage
Haters you can kill yourself.
In my space shuttle and I’m not coming down
I’m a stereo and she’s just so monotone
Sometimes it’s just me and all my bottles all alone
I ain’t coming back this time.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
(Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow)
Check It Out (x3)
Check this mother-f**ker OUT!
It got me in the club, in the club, just rocking like this…
The DunDun
The sun done
Yep, the sun done
Came up, but we still up in dungeon
The DunDun
Yep, in London
Competition, why yes I would love some
How the f**k they get mad cause they run done.
Mad cause I’m getting money in abundance
Man I can’t even count all of these hundreds
Duffle bag every time I go to SunTrust
I leave the rest just to collect interest
I mean interest
F**k my nemesis
Exclamation… just for emphasis
And I don’t sympathize, cause you a simple b***h
I just pop up on these hoes on some pimple sh*t
And put the iron to your face you old wrinkled b***h
We just had to kill it
We on the radio hotter than a skillet
We in the club making party people holla
Money in the bank we be getting top dollar
I’m a big baller,
You a little smaller
Step up to my level, you need to grow a little taller
I’m shot caller
Get up off my collar
You a Chihuahua
I’m a Rottweiler
[Bridge]
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
I can’t believe it, this beat is banging.
I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing.
I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus]
(Hey) Check It Out (x10)
Check It Out (x3)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
What the shit is this shit?
So what the hell is this blog?
I'm Stephanie. I'm a radio dj. My friend Tristan is a radio dj too. We get a lot of music sent our way to listen to and play on the radio. Sometimes people send us stuff that's great and then sometimes.... well it's just scary shit.
Behold the song that inspired Tristan to tell me we should start this blog.
It seems easy to cap on Insane Clown Posse. I mean I could write a whole effin' blog called "Insane Clown Posse, how do they suck?" and have about 898987 entries, but this, THIS IS EPIC.
I'm Stephanie. I'm a radio dj. My friend Tristan is a radio dj too. We get a lot of music sent our way to listen to and play on the radio. Sometimes people send us stuff that's great and then sometimes.... well it's just scary shit.
Behold the song that inspired Tristan to tell me we should start this blog.
It seems easy to cap on Insane Clown Posse. I mean I could write a whole effin' blog called "Insane Clown Posse, how do they suck?" and have about 898987 entries, but this, THIS IS EPIC.
Seriously this has to be a freakin' joke right? I mean like this isn't real right? They're trollin' us right?
Right? I mean there aren't REALLY Juggalos in the world right? I mean... well shit nevermind I've seen some in person... there are things you can't unsee bro...
So anyway, we had hear this heap of shit and I bet you clicked on it and listened to it to. And later on today you'll look at someone and say "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"
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