Okay before I start ripping this song, let me say that individually these two "artists" have done stuff I've really really liked, but these two together in one song? It's like a herpes bomb blew up in my ears.
I feel disgusting watching the video. These dudes are so greasy. Ke$ha most likely reeks of Jack Daniels from her purse. I'm also trying to figure out why the 3OH!3 dudes are YELLING this crap at my screen. Stop just stop.
I don't know what the sound they're going for here in this noisy collaboration but really all it's doing is making me nauseated and giving me a headache. Sorry guys. Individually I can handle your respective skankiness but when you combine them? No, it's too much sleeze and dumb for one song. Can't deal. Pass the ear plugs.
AND LEARN TO SPELL WITHOUT NUMBERS AND COMPUTER SYMBOLS, ALL OF YOU! GAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I distinctly remember the first time I heard this band, I hated them. Shinedown was just another Nickelcrap clone. I used to get them and Seether mixed up. Actually I might still... they're both pretty awful. This is one of those bands I try to discount in meetings by my t-shirt theory... I.E. when was the last time you saw someone in a Shinedown shirt? Like I'll put up with Metallica and Megadeth because people are passionate about these bands. I don't think I've ever asked someone "So hey, what's your favorite band?" and had them answer "OMG I LOVE SHINEDOWN." Does anyone even know what these dudes look like?
Anyway I thought I had heard the worst these dudes could shit onto a platter until I heard this:
This is so not a rock song. This is like some Matchbox Twenty garbage. And it might not even sound like garbage if it was done by a Matchbox twenty, Sarah McLachlan, some Hot AC something or other because this is a pop ballad, not a rock song. Yet last summer this thing ear raped rock radio all summer long and I never once heard one person say they liked it. I mean there isn't anything to LIKE about it.
I realize that scholocky mediocrity is what most of 'Merica (eff yah!) likes but come on. This is just dog vomit.
"The Crow and the Butterfly"
I painted your room at midnight So I'd know yesterday was over I put all your books on the top shelf Even the one with the four leaf clover
Man, I'm getting older I took all your pictures off the wall And wrapped them in a newspaper blanket I haven't slept in what seems like a century And now I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly Dandelions lost in the summer skies When you and I were getting high as outer space I never thought you'd slip away I guess I was just a little too late
Your words still serenade me Your lullabies won't let me sleep I've never heard such a haunting melody Oh, it's killing me You know I can barely breathe
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly Dandelions lost in the summer skies When you and I were getting high as outer space I never thought you'd slip away I guess I was just a little too late
Just like a crow chasing the butterfly Dandelions lost in the summer skies When you and I were getting high as outer space I never thought you'd slip away
Like a crow chasing the butterfly Dandelions lost in the summer skies When you and I were getting high as outer space I never thought you'd slip away I guess I was just a little too late
WHAT THE HELL? I DON'T GET IT WHY DO YOU LIKE THIS??!?
It's schlocky and like... just bad. Mediocre. I get it everyone loves boobs. Hell I like boobs, but songs about boobs don't actually equate real boobs. Like listening to this song at your mom's house in the basement while you play Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix is not going to make bountiful boobs appear in your life. All this song is going to do is give me a damn headache. And maybe cause nausea.
Look I've done my tours of duty in top 40. And I LOVED IT. Some of my best times were working for the top 40 in SLO but you have got to be kidding me with this heap of crap. And Will.I.Am, we're all aware you like money now.
I can't even find rude enough words to talk about how much I want to pull my ears off and jab my eyes with a stick whenever I hear this heap of crap (which I am listening to now just for you guys.)
I hope the Buggles are making big cash for this.
I know I know, she's a FEMALE RAPPER and she's all POWERFUL and I should support but no, this is just crap. Sorry Nicki...
THESE WORDS HURT MY FEELINGS
"Check it Out"
[Will.i.am]
Step up in the party like my name was Mr. T All these hating naggers ain’t got nothing on me. Honestly I gotta stay as fly as I can be If you lick and roll it you get super OG Mine is always ? cause I'm fly, fly, fly Dummies they can’t touch me cause I'm floating sky high I stay nigga-rific you don’t need to ask why You can try and see with your eyes
[Bridge] I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing. This club is heating, this party’s blazing. I can’t believe it, this beat is banging. I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus] (Hey) Check It Out (x10) (Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow) Check It Out (x3)
[Nicki Minaj] Stepped up in the party like my name was “that b***h”. All these haters mad because I’m so established. They know I’m a beast, yeah I’m a f**king savage Haters you can kill yourself. In my space shuttle and I’m not coming down I’m a stereo and she’s just so monotone Sometimes it’s just me and all my bottles all alone I ain’t coming back this time.
[Chorus] (Hey) Check It Out (x10) (Yeah yeah, I’m feeling it now-ow) Check It Out (x3) Check this mother-f**ker OUT! It got me in the club, in the club, just rocking like this…
The DunDun The sun done Yep, the sun done Came up, but we still up in dungeon The DunDun Yep, in London Competition, why yes I would love some How the f**k they get mad cause they run done. Mad cause I’m getting money in abundance Man I can’t even count all of these hundreds Duffle bag every time I go to SunTrust I leave the rest just to collect interest I mean interest F**k my nemesis Exclamation… just for emphasis And I don’t sympathize, cause you a simple b***h I just pop up on these hoes on some pimple sh*t And put the iron to your face you old wrinkled b***h
We just had to kill it We on the radio hotter than a skillet We in the club making party people holla Money in the bank we be getting top dollar I’m a big baller, You a little smaller Step up to my level, you need to grow a little taller I’m shot caller Get up off my collar You a Chihuahua I’m a Rottweiler
[Bridge] I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing. I can’t believe it, this beat is banging. I can’t believe it, it’s so amazing. I can’t believe it, I can’t believe i-it.
[Chorus] (Hey) Check It Out (x10) Check It Out (x3)
Before we start here let me say, in principle, I have no problem with System of a Down. I actually enjoy their special brand of crazy, sexy, angry, opera, pirate rock just on sheer lack of sameness, BUT there is no place for bad grammar on the Tristan Train to Sound Town especially from a band that has sold something in the area of 15 million fucken albums. They should know better.
This brings me to their GRAMMY NOMINATED (side note: this should tell you how useless the grammys are) 2007 hit "Lonely Day". Now, Lonely Day, is a perfectly fine name for a song and would have worked well in the chorus of this bad boy, but no, SOAD decided to better connect with the mouth breathing, unwashed masses that they needed to fuck it up with the dumb stick.
My entire problem with this song, and why it finds itself on FMHDTW? is the line "The most lonliest day of my life.". Really? Am I the only one that realizes how stupid these filthy (both rich and in the Armenian way) artists sound in this song, and how stupid we all look for swallowing the briney cock snot that is this nonesense? MOST and LONLIEST together in a sentence is redundant, and not in the good, Fat Boy Slim-Blazer Force, kinna way. It's redundant in the, maybe you should go back to 1st grade because you are telling a whole generation of fuck twats it is okay to talk like this, way.
I get it, you're an artist, but don't fuck up the minds of those who take your words as gospel.
Rock on Tristan
P.S. This is not the last time you will hear about the "mouth breathing, unwashed masses" from me. Stay tuned.
So awhile back this gorgeous package landed on my desk. I know I listened to it but can't remember what it sounds like because of the band's STUPID name. And the album's stupid title. "If Looks Could Kill."
Yes I'd certainly be dead by now from these Hall and Oates mustaches. No. Just no.
I get a lot of mail here at the radio ranch and most of it gets immediately binned, but eeeevery once in a while I get a gem like this:
But wait! There's more!
God love you Keyenta, not only are you living your dream of becoming the first shirtless man that the world is supposed to take seriously, but you are doing it YOUR way. With body hair that I think is best described as "kelpy" you made an EP of music that you described in a letter with adjectives like "throbbing", "grunge", and "electronic".
Needless to say the disc remains unopened in its shrink wrap for when it becomes a collector's item -- or when I have to use it to torture and then suffocate someone; the featured track "Porno Star" unlistened, fresh for when the music world is "ready" for you Keyenta.
I'm Stephanie. I'm a radio dj. My friend Tristan is a radio dj too. We get a lot of music sent our way to listen to and play on the radio. Sometimes people send us stuff that's great and then sometimes.... well it's just scary shit.
Behold the song that inspired Tristan to tell me we should start this blog.
It seems easy to cap on Insane Clown Posse. I mean I could write a whole effin' blog called "Insane Clown Posse, how do they suck?" and have about 898987 entries, but this, THIS IS EPIC.
Seriously this has to be a freakin' joke right? I mean like this isn't real right? They're trollin' us right?
Right? I mean there aren't REALLY Juggalos in the world right? I mean... well shit nevermind I've seen some in person... there are things you can't unsee bro...
So anyway, we had hear this heap of shit and I bet you clicked on it and listened to it to. And later on today you'll look at someone and say "Fucking magnets, how do they work?"
